My Child
by Arwen4eva
Summary: Emma Swan never felt like a proper mother after giving Henry up for adoption. Now, she has a bundle of joy with her pirate but for her, things are not as happy as they could be. Can her family give her the faith she needs to believe in herself? I DO NOT OWN ONCE UPON A TIME! One-shot.


**A/N: Hello! Brand new story in between updates of my other series since this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Epilogue 2 of Going Home is in the works so should be up in the next few days or so!**

 **I don't know whether everything is accurate but this is a show about magic and curses and stuff; plus I am only 17, so roll with it!**

 **Enjoy the story - yes, this is a one-shot! Also, enjoy this week's episode! It does look like an interesting one.**

 **Keep Smiling!**

"Come on, baby." Emma mumbles, closing her eyes in infirmity. " _Please_."

Their daughter had been born five days previously. Emma's labour had been thankfully quick, lasting only six hours before she held her baby in her arms. Killian had been with her the entire time, his hand stroking back her hair to encourage and soothe her as her hand clenched his hook so hard, her knuckles were permanently white.

He cried when he first laid eyes on his little girl despite firmly telling himself that he wouldn't. His heart practically burst at the seams with love the very second that he had held her in his arms. Even more so when Emma had told him that he could name her.

 _"Are you sure?" he had asked, gazing down at the pink bundle in Emma's arms._

 _"Of course I'm sure." Emma said, her voice slightly hoarse after labour. She looks down at their daughter. "She's our little girl and I know that you have had ideas about names that you haven't shared yet."_

 _Killian swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, unable to tear his eyes away from his daughter._

 _"Lunette." he whispered after a minute of contemplation. Emma looked up at him with a soft smile._

 _"It's beautiful. What does it mean?"_

 _"Lunette is a goddess of the moon but some translate it as 'little moon'. She is the light of our lives amongst the darkness we have both suffered, so it seems fitting."_

"Sweetheart, please." Emma practically begs now, hot and stinging tears coming to her eyes. "Shh, shh."

Lunette has not stopped crying for the past ten minutes and Emma is struggling. She is extremely tired, the sleep she could be getting between Lunette's feeds has been miniscule as she lies awake in fear that someone or something will take her daughter from her if she shuts her eyes for even a second. Killian had taken Henry out to get some food for the house, after asking Emma if it would be alright, and not a minute later, Lunette had started fussing. However, instead of calming down, she had begun to cry constantly.

She wanted to reach out to someone. She knows that her father is busy at the station, covering her and Killian's shifts whilst everything settles down for them and Killian goes back to work. Calling Killian would make him panic. Calling her mother would mean that she won't be alone for a long time; making her feel even more inadequate as a mother.

And even if she wants to call someone, she has no idea where her mobile is.

"Lunette, please. Help Mummy out." Emma says, tears now slipping down her cheeks as she paces around the living room.

She has tried everything she can think of. Too hot, too cold. Hungry. Wet nappy. Wanting to lay down, wanting to be held.

Regardless of everything, Lunette's cries will not cease.

In her exhausted state, her emotions are running rampant which sets off her magic unbidden. The lights around the house keep flickering on and off, some of the bulbs bursting in a cascade of sparks. The drawers in the kitchen have been suddenly opening and slamming shut against her will.

But now, Emma begins to freak out even more as her hands start to continuously glow, small sparks igniting from her palms. She tries to keep her palms away from Lunette but she cries more when she is out of Emma's grip.

Five minutes later, Killian and Henry walk through the door with various full bags. There is a frown on Killian's brow as he hears the sound of his daughter's cry.

Emma quickly moves towards Killian, cheeks tear stained. He has no opportunity to say anything before Emma passes Lunette over and then runs out of the front door. Killian and Henry see that she disappears in a cloud of grey smoke before the door closes on its hinges.

"Shh, shh." Killian hushes, adjusting his hold on Lunette, worrying about his hook potentially hurting her, and sways slightly. "What is it, little one?"

He adjusts his hold more so he is still supporting her tiny body better and he pulls on her baby blanket, identical to Emma's but with red ribbon and embroidery instead of purple, so it isn't as snug around her. He gasps as soon as her arm is revealed.

"Henry!" he shouts, panic in his tone. He turns to face his step-son. "I need you to get a cold towel immediately!"

Henry complies instantly, panicking at Killian's tone. Killian gently runs the tips of his fingers around the burn on Lunette's arm, continuing to softly hush her. Henry comes over from the sink, pressing the cold towel over the burn.

"Did Mum do this?" he asks, worry in his voice.

Killian swallows. "Aye, it seems so. But this was not intentional - I think she is struggling more than she lets on to any of us. Can you call your mother and Snow for me?"

Henry nods, quickly extracting his mobile from his back pocket of his jeans and making the calls. Killian keeps the cold towel over the small burn on Lunette's delicate skin, hoping that it helps to reduce whatever pain she is in. He sways as if to mimic the waves beneath the Jolly Roger but his daughter's cries are only fractionally soothed from his administrations.

"Mum said she will be here in a minute with Grandma." Henry says, brushing his knuckles over his sister's kicking leg. "Why won't she stop crying?"

Killian's heart breaks. "I don't know, lad." he says, voice helpless.

Regina and Snow appear then in a puff of purple smoke. They both quickly move to Killian, frowns on their faces.

"Henry says that she has a burn on her arm." Regina says, concern in her tone. "Let me see."

Henry gently peels away the towel from his sister's arm. Snow gasps and Regina immediately waves her hand over the burn, healing it. Lunette's cries die slightly but not enough. Killian looks at Regina with glassy eyes.

"Help her." he mumbles. "Please."

Regina nods, delicately placing her hand on Lunette's forehead. Her cries die down until her entire body relaxes.

"This is just for a few minutes." Regina explains, tightening the blanket around the baby's now relaxed body. "She will wake up and should be calmer."

"This isn't going to harm her, is it?" Killian questions.

Regina shakes her head. "No That is why only a few minutes; so there is no risk of that."

Killian holds Lunette tighter again his body.

"What happened to Emma?" Snow asks, her arm around Henry's shoulders. "I know that she poofed herself away as Henry has told me but do you know why, or perhaps where?"

Killian shakes his head, eyes fixed to his currently peaceful daughter.

"We walked in and next thing I know, Lunette is in my arms and my wife is running out of the door." he says. He then looks up. "I need to find her."

"It might be better if I go, Killian." Regina says. "That burn was caused by magic and we all know that Emma would never hurt Lunette. Which means that her magic is out of control because her emotions are. It is just like with the Snow Queen; she does not want to hurt Lunette but ended up doing so. Since I have magic, I can help calm her."

Killian nods. "Just bring her home to us."

Regina smiles slightly. "I will. I promise."

...

She finds her up on the hill that looks down over Storybrooke. Emma's hair is messy, haphazardly thrown up into a sloppy ponytail with tendrils framing her face, shifting in the wind. Her clothes, a baggy jumper and black leggings - fluffy socks instead of shoes thanks to her hasty departure - appear askew. Regina can see that her hands are shaking quite violently, magic seated in her palms as she rests on a large log.

"Emma?"

Regina's voice is quiet, soft in fact, but it still startles Emma as if she has been shouted at all of a sudden. Emma stands up quickly, wincing from the pain it inflicts in her pelvis and breasts.

"You shouldn't be here." Emma says.

Regina raises her hands. "Emma, it's alright. I'm here to help you."

Emma shakes her head. "No, I can't control it. I can't do it. I can't-"

"Emma, Emma." Regina steps forwards and continues inching closer so she doesn't spook her. "You can control it. You know that you can. Let me help you. Take my hand."

Emma looks down at her hands, the sparks still there; sparks that hurt her daughter. "I..."

"You can do it, Emma. Trust yourself."

Regina's words make Emma suddenly sob thickly, the magic in her hands dissipating into nothing. Regina takes hold of Emma's arms gently and guides her back to the log she was found on, sitting beside her. Emma leans heavily against Regina as she cries, the older woman's arm around her shoulders.

A few minutes later, Emma's cries turn into hiccups and sniffles. Regina rubs Emma's back as she straightens up.

"What's going on, Emma?" Regina questions, her voice kind. Emma inhales sharply, shaking her head. "You need to let it out, Emma. Keeping it in is just going to make it worse. Just... blurt it out all at once. It will help."

Emma looks out at Storybrooke, spotting the Jolly Roger proudly berthed in her place at the docks.

"I'm an unfit mother." Emma starts, her voice just above a whisper. "I couldn't soothe my own child and hurt her instead. I ran away from her the moment I could."

Tears start falling and her voice picks up in volume as she continues speaking.

"I gave away my first child and have no idea how to take care of my second. The only knowledge I have is from fake memories. I can't be a mother. I can't look after her! She is going to hate me when she grows up because I couldn't take care of her!"

"Emma," Regina places her hand on Emma's arm, trying to get her friend to look at her. "you don't mean any of that. You look exhausted! Are you sleeping at all?"

"I can't." Emma admits after a moment of silence, fingers twirling her engagement ring and wedding band around her finger, the eternity band moving with them since it is sandwiched between. It makes Emma think of the identical, and bigger, version that Killian wears on his hand with his wedding band. "When Lunette is asleep, I have to watch her because anyone could take her or she could stop breathing and I wouldn't know until it was too late."

Regina looks at her sympathetically. "I was very similar when I first had Henry. I was petrified that he would be taken from me because I didn't think I was worthy of him. I thought that I couldn't be a mother."

"I hurt Lunette! You never did that to Henry, I am sure." Emma says, a lump forming in her throat.

"If I had my magic, it would have been inevitable." Regina says. "Our magic is linked to our emotions. You have just given birth, Emma. I would have been surprised if this didn't happen."

"What do you mean?" Emma asks, looking at Regina now.

"You have barely slept and your hormones are practically everywhere." Regina says. "I may not have gone through this as you are but I have read about it. You've got a touch of what they call ' _the baby blues'_. It is natural to feel like this."

Emma runs her hand over her forehead in frustration. She leans back and winces again. She brings her right hand up to the side of her breast as the pain slowly ebbs away.

"Are you alright?" Regina asks having seen Emma's wince.

"My milk is coming through and it smarts a bit." Emma says, dropping her hand back to her lap.

"Is Lunette due a feed?" Regina asks and is answered with a nod. "We should get you back so that goddaughter of mine is fed."

Emma doesn't move, her head dropping down. "How can I face her after what I have done to her? How I couldn't help her?"

"I healed Lunette the moment I saw that burn. She will not remember this - she is only five days old. She depends on her mother for everything and yes, that is absolutely terrifying. But we all know that you can do this. We believe in you. Now, you just need to believe in yourself."

"Can I really do this?" Emma questions, looking back down at the town. "I only became a mother to Henry when he was ten years old - he could do what he wanted and do it on his own. I am now a mother to a baby who needs me to _survive_ and I am so scared that I will fail her."

"You ran earlier because you were scared." Regina says.

Emma nods. "I hurt my daughter and couldn't soothe her."

"You were panicking and babies sense that. When I first had Henry, he wouldn't stop crying because I was so worried about hurting him or doing something wrong. The moment I believed in myself, everything changed. Trust yourself, Emma. Your daughter needs you."

Emma looks down at her hands. She takes a few deep breaths before nodding and looking back at Regina.

"Take me home."

...

When they arrive outside the house, Emma immediately hears her baby's cries; more subdue than before but still prominent that it makes her heart ache. She acts purely on instinct when she moves forwards, into the house. She vaguely notices Henry and Snow sitting at the kitchen table but goes straight over to Killian. He is standing by the bottom of the stairs, Lunette in his arms as she squirms.

"Pass her to me." Emma says softly when Killian spots her.

He nods, carefully handing the wriggling mass of limbs over. Emma supports Lunette's head in the crook of her elbow and her right hand goes beneath her nappy clad rump. Her cries die down within a few seconds until she is simply whimpering softly. Emma once again has tears running down her cheeks.

"Mummy is very sorry, baby girl." she mumbles, moving over to the couch and gently sitting down. She grabs hold of her body pillow and crosses her legs before draping it over her lap. She lowers her arm down, still supporting her child. "Shh, shh, now."

Lunette continues whimpering and Emma ever so slightly adjusts her position. The fullness and heaviness of her breasts is quite uncomfortable as her right pointer finger runs over Lunette's silken cheek. Her tiny rosebud mouth searches for it until it seeks out her mother's finger and she starts to suck.

"Come on then, little moon." Emma coos, pulling up the hem of her baggy jumper and exposing her left breast. She encourages Lunette to latch on. It takes a moment but the second she starts suckling, Emma relaxes more into the couch. "That's it, sweetheart."

Her gaze moves from her daughter to Killian as he crouches down beside her. He smiles slightly at her.

"Regina told me everything." he says, his voice tender. Emma inhales shakily, eyes moving back to Lunette. Her little fist rests on the breast she is suckling from as if searching for her mother's heartbeat. "It's alright, Emma."

"Is it? I ran, just like I have always done."

"But you came back." Killian points out. "I was wrong to leave you alone, Emma. I know that you haven't been sleeping because you are scared that something will happen to her."

Emma runs her finger over Lunette's arm, revelling in the softness she feels. "Something could. Storybrooke doesn't have the best track record."

"Nothing bad has happened in Storybrooke for a year now." Killian says, placing his hand on Emma's knee. "I know that you are scared of losing her because I am too. I wake up and freak out if you aren't in bed and Lu isn't in her bassinet. It's been like that since her very first morning here, in this house."

"It feels like a whole lifetime ago." Emma whispers. "And as if it has only been a few seconds."

"I was talking to Snow after you left." Killian says. "It is completely natural to feel as if you cannot cope but I am right here and never going anywhere. We have so many people here to help us should we need them but we can do this. You are such an amazing mother."

"You're an amazing father." Emma says, adjusting Lunette in her arms as the rate of suckling depletes. The movement almost shocks Lunette into wakefulness and her suckling starts up again.

"You are both amazing parents." Snow says, coming up to the back of the couch. "And Killian is right, baby. It is natural to feel like this after giving birth. I did with Neal and I was petrified that if I so much as turned my head, he would disappear. That will not be happening."

Emma nods, covering her breast and pulling down her jumper now that her daughter has finished her feed. Using her hand, she ever so carefully moves Lunette's head so it is in a more comfortable position. She also extracts her blanket from around her body so she doesn't get hot. A smile comes to her face at the sight of the little yellow ducklings and bright white swans on her tiny pink bodysuit. It was a present from Regina to her goddaughter when she brought Henry to see his sister on the day of her birth.

Her little girl scrunches up in her sleep and Emma leans down to press a kiss to Lunette's forehead; inhaling her unique baby smell that makes her giddy with joy.

"This... anxiety will pass, right?" Emma asks, looking up at her mother.

Snow leans down and plants a kiss to Emma's hairline.

"It might take a little bit of time until your hormones even out, but it will. Being a parent isn't easy but it is so rewarding."

Emma smiles, turning her head to Killian. He leans forwards and presses a kiss to her lips before looking down at their little girl, resting his chin on his wife's shoulder.

"She is so beautiful." Emma mumbles, resting her head against Killian's as they gaze at Lunette.

"You made her." Snow says. "If you weren't ready for her then she wouldn't be here. Remember that."

"It is impossible to think of life without her now." Killian says, pressing a kiss to Emma's exposed shoulder. He then stands to quickly chat with Henry before he goes for his time at Regina's.

"Henry and Lunette are so lucky to have you and Killian." Snow says, turning her head to watch her son-in-law and grandson's interaction.

Emma smiles fondly at her boys, laughing gently when she see them fist-bump. Her son then bounds over to her. He runs his knuckles tenderly over his sister's cheek before kissing Emma's.

"I love you, Mum."

"I love you too, kid." Emma says, lifting her right hand and pushing some hair away from Henry's forehead. "Say hello to Violet for me?"

Henry smiles. "I will do, Mum. Is it alright if she comes over next week to meet Lu?"

"I can't see that being a problem, Henry. If she's up for it, that's alright." Emma says, glancing down at Lunette when she shifts. "Just give me enough time to look decent before she comes over and I will tell you the best time so she is awake more than asleep."

Henry laughs. "You don't have to worry about any of that; but, of course I will. Just promise to call me if you are struggling like earlier whilst I am with Mum. I want to help you if I can."

Emma smiles. "I promise. Now, go. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Mum!"

Henry then leaves with Regina. Not long after, once she has made sure that her daughter is alright, Snow leaves with the promise of returning the next day with David and Neal; or earlier if they wish.

"Do you want me to take her, Swan?" Killian asks, sitting on the couch. "Since she is sleeping, you have the opportunity to get some rest; which you need."

Emma shakes her head, settling back into the couch, resting her head against the cushions.

"I don't want to let her go just yet." she mumbles.

"That's alright, sweetheart. You can sleep and I will watch over you both." Killian says, running his hand over Lunette's head.

"Are you sure?"

Killian nods. "Of course. I will be right here."

Emma nods, yawning widely. Killian watches as Emma's eyes grow heavy and she eventually sleeps. After a while, Lunette squirms and Killian carefully extracts her from Emma's hold.

He rests back against the couch, gently laying Lunette on his chest where she scrunches up once more before falling asleep again. He drapes her blanket over her tiny form before resting his hand on her back. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Killian looks over to his sleeping wife and inches closer to her.

He stays on the couch with Lunette against his chest whilst Emma sleeps; keeping his little family close and together.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


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